down on my mind

day 58

A bit of sad news to start this post: I just received an email from my college saying I did not receive a leadership or an English scholarship. So I'm currently in kind of a "bummy" mood. Buuut whatever. :/

Now on to happier subjects!. My camera remote came in the mail today! Can you believe I've gone so long without one? I've been playing with it for a little bit in my room and it's so much better than manually focusing--especially when I'm trying to take self portraits. I'm just itching to actually use it for a shoot!

I didn't get home until nine o'clock tonight. Why, you might ask? Because I've been babysitting! Oh, how I love little children. I was trying to get the little ones to bed, and the boy did not want to stay in bed. I would sit on the stairs listening while he fumbled in his bed sheets and sneaked out of his room. I caught him at least three times doing it, pretending that I was walking up the stairs instead of being sneaky. The next time he got up, he caught me sitting on the stairs listening for him, so I let him sit down next to me while we pet the cat. Before he had given me a big kiss on the cheek and while we stroked the purring cat he sat next to me in the dim light. I don't know, it just felt like a really special moment. It wasn't that he got his way in staying up, I think it was that we were able to share that time and it was special because I was letting him stay up. It was absolutely perfect because right at the moment when he asked me when his mom was coming home, the garage door opened, I said "right now," and he gave me the biggest smile and dashed up the stairs, stopping for a moment to whisper goodnight and then ran back to bed to pretend to be asleep. It reminded me of when I was a little kid ...

Those are my absolute favorite moments. It makes me really excited to have my own kids one day, to be able to create memories that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. At the end of the day, college scholarships or remotes or school or work don't really matter, it's those moments shared with people that hold the most weight and the most value. And that's what makes me really excited about life, not only being able to fulfill my dreams, but being able to share those dreams with others and to create a million perfect moments and to just ... live.