Wednesday, March 26, 2014

learning to wait while dreaming big

Perhaps it is being rather bored this spring break, or perhaps it is simply that standard time of the week, that I once again feel the need to A. Think of big ideas and plans for the future, and then B. Get incredibly discouraged and depressed about them.

First of all, let's talk about the dreaming big part. I firmly believe that nearly anything can be achieved if you set your mind to it. Most people never reach their full potential and it is only those who drive themselves farther that will fulfill their dreams. (Very, very few people are lucky, but most people work for what they get). During my junior high musician phase, I had a certain lyric I wrote (that I subsequently plastered everywhere) that went: "you can't live in your dreams tomorrow if you don't dream them today." And to an extent I still hold that angsty saying to be true. If you don't have a dream, then it won't come true. In more practical terms, if you don't have a plan to achieve something, then you won't achieve it. So dream the biggest, craziest dream you can, and then go after it. And be okay when the dream changes, or when you discover it wasn't quite what you wanted, because even in my twenty measly years of existence, my dreams have changed and I have to come to terms with that.

While the dream is in place, you must wait. While every other day I freak myself out by thinking, "Oh man, I only have two years left of school, and I have no plan for supporting myself (much less getting that dream job)," I also have to remind myself that, hey, I'm only twenty, hardly anybody has it figured out by now, and most people don't have it figured out when they're thirty (or forty, or fifty), and that's okay. For myself: it is seriously okay that I don't know how to get to where I want to go. It's okay that I am not qualified enough yet or outgoing enough yet or talented enough yet, because the great thing about the word "yet" is that it is conditional, and only I can remove it from the picture. And that takes time.

And it's okay that these things take time. While I'm waiting, it's important to plan, it's important (and okay!) to make mistakes, it's okay to not be proud of what I do, as long as I learn from those mistakes and keep trying. It's okay for the timing not to be right or for people to say "no" or for my knowledge and equipment to be limited. It's okay to not know everything. And it is certainly okay to fake it until I make it. That's all anyone can do anyways.

It's hard waiting for something that largely depends upon what I do with the time that I have. But coming to the realization that waiting is okay and necessary is the first step to achieving dreams.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

fashion shoot // josi

A week ago I got to do a really fun photoshoot the the beautiful Josi! She is a fashion major and has a great sense of style, and I've been wanting to photograph her for a while. For my photography class, our weekly prompt was "at wit's end", which I interpreted as a quirky, grungy location since I really wanted to do a fashion shoot. At Wit's End, the people are really cool and like to match their environment, so Josi and I shot with colors in mind (specifically different hair colors), and I think they turned out quite nicely. This is certainly a bit different from what I usually do, simply because I haven't done a shoot that was exclusively fashion before (I mean, I've done senior shoots, which are pretty similar, and after doing this shoot I will definitely incorporate some things I learned into those). It was incredibly fun to hang out with Josi and make some cool images together!

Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

spring vibes

dress/tights: forever 21 // weird short things: borrowed from my housemate // shoes: target // photos by Matt

Oh look, an outfit post! We Oregonians have had a bout of of sunshine and it's like a switch has been turned. You know those quintessential college photos that colleges use for advertisement? Well when the sun appears, the campus literally looks like that. Professors teaching their class on the quad, people laughing while laying on the grass, people playing frisbee ... it's pretty laughable how everyone flocks to the light. And you can bet that I was one of those people, braving the slight breeze in only a tank top (but chickening out with tights--which ended up being a good thing as Matt and I snapped these photos before our night classes and that walk home in the dark was cold!).

In other news:

1. I got a new backpack, which is a momentous occasion considering I've had the same backpack for like three years. My breaking point in purchasing a new one? A. I spilled hot chocolate all over the inside of my old one and didn't notice until it had dried up and was gross and I didn't want to wash it. B. I got an amazon giftcard and really wanted to waste three hours of my life reading countless backpack reviews on the internet.

2. Two of my pieces made it into the Student Art Show! One was this photo, and the other is yet to be released to the public (but will be shortly. And by shortly I actually mean next month. Maybe.)

3. I booked my first wedding of the summer! I'm so excited to be shooting another wedding. On top of that it is with an adorable and gorgeous couple, and on top of that I get to fly down and experience a taste of the Oregon summer. I'm so thankful that the couple is taking a chance on me, and I seriously cannot wait to spend the day documenting their big event!

4. Other than that, school is chugging along as usual. Spring break is in a mere week and a half, I'm getting my schedule for next year nailed down, and life is pretty cool.

Friday, March 7, 2014

(for study) film friday: beyond

Varanasi, India: "Beyond" from Cale Glendening on Vimeo.

If you don't do anything else this week, please watch this beautiful film about India's holy men. Though I do not identify myself with their religion, there are still many beautiful truths to take from what they believe.

First of all, there is the idea of disregarding consumerism and materialism. Though I myself don't feel it necessary to distance myself from this materialistic world, nor do I believe I am called to do that as an individual, it still is an important idea to not get caught up in all of the rush of technology and products. Not only is it true that new products will quickly become old and the current technology become obsolete, but it is also true that the earth and the natural world has been around for a while and will remain for a while yet. I would rather immerse myself in things that will last longer than things that are fleeting.

And second of all, they continually talk about being a light to the world. There is so much darkness and it does no good to continue to harbor hurtful or selfish concepts. It is so much better to spread joy and kindness to others, everyone, even those who do not deserve it. Especially those who do not deserve it. I want nothing more in life than to be a light to those around me, to spread understanding and comfort and knowledge, and to help those who need it. And really, everyone needs help. We are all broken people in need of companionship and I want to bring that companionship as best I know how.

So I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!