With fall quickly approaching us, people are starting to break out their tights and leggings once more. And like every other blogger out there, I'm incredibly excited for fall. Hello layers! After emailing a very sweet girl back and forth about tights, she inspired me to write a fun little post about the things. I scanned through my archives and found some examples of different ways to wear tights in the hopes that it will also inspire you this fall and winter season!
These tights I purchased from Walmart, I believe, and they are a very versatile pair. With tights like these, I sometimes even wear another pair of tights underneath them (on especially cold days), and the color peeks through the slits. This makes a really fun effect and adds even more interest to the outfit.
Now for some fun colored tights! The green lace tights are from forever 21, and the orange ones were borrowed from my friend. In regards to the green ones, I don't wear them very often because I accidentally bought a couple sizes up from what I needed, and they like to, ahem, fall down a lot, so if I wear them I have to constantly adjust them. In this example, I wore them with a purple dress to contrast the green color. You can read more about mixing colors together here! For the orange-y ones, I decided to go a little bit more natural and pair them with yellows and browns and blacks.
These vertical striped tights I received from romwe when they were having their whole "receive one free pair of tights by signing up" sort of thing, and they are definitely one of my favorites. They're basic black, but with a fun twist. These two looks are a bit "edgier" for me, so it might be fun this autumn to try to style them in a more girly sort of way.
Aaah, my trusty maroon tights. I wear these things once a week, I swear. They're so comfortable and warm, and I've worn them so much the heels are all worn through. And yet I still hold on to them because I am convinced I can wear them with anything (in fact, they're going to be featured yet again in an outfit post for tomorrow!). If you're on the hunt for tights, get these ones. I purchased mine at forever 21 years ago, but I'm sure there are other pairs like them out there.
White tights are also good to have on hand. I borrowed the ones on the left from my mom, and the ones on the right are from forever 21. They are really easy to dress up or down. You can either pair them with a little black dress and red heels, or with a denim dress and boots like I did in the left photo.
These star tights I diy-ed using my friend Annika's tutorial, and even though they are pretty torn up now, they're still one of my favorite pairs. Any patterned tights instantly adds more interest to an outfit, and in the case of the red color here, they can add even more color variation.
These heart tights from forever 21 are another example of patterned tight goodness. It gives an outfit just a touch of magic (though I have to say that people sometimes think I have the chicken pox with these tights on, haha).
Finally there are my thrifted green tights (I also have another pair in blue). Even though green isn't really a neutral color, these dark green tights have worked really well with a lot of outfits I and my friends have worn.
So if you're looking to buy tights for fall, I would say start with the neutrals: first a black pair, then white, then navy, brown, and potentially green. If you're looking to add more, go for some different colors, or even go for some patterned tights, like stripes or polka dots. You may have also noticed that I wore shorts in several of these shots, and it just goes to show that tights aren't just for dresses! With the right combination, you can make tights work with shorts as well, which is perfect for transitioning seasons that are a little too cold for shorts, but not cold enough for pants or thick tights.
Last night I found myself looking through every single tagged photo of myself on facebook, not because I'm consumed with myself (because as I was forced to remember, my junior high and high school years were not good to me look-wise), but mostly out of a boredom so great, only doing something such as absentmindedly clicking little arrows over pictures would cure. As someone who has had facebook for a long time (since 2007!), many pictures of me have surfaced over the years. As I looked through, I began to notice something, friends coming and going, months without a tagged photo of me, different types of photos appearing, and it really got me thinking about friendships. First of all, I am the type of person who knows a lot of people, but I am very good friends with a select few. I tend to invest deeply in just a handful of people. From being a military kid, I learned fast my relationships had to become deep quickly because I didn't have much time with people. I never lived more than three years in one place until I moved to Oklahoma the second time around. Then I lived there for five years. As one can imagine, I developed deep friendships with a group of people, and then continued that friendship for much of my developmental years (last end of elementary to middle of high school). Because of that, once I moved to Alaska, it was hard for me to make new friends because I was not only tied to people now thousands of miles away, but I had also forgotten how to create a bond between myself and another human. Coupled with that and my introversion and shyness around people I don't know, I've felt basically everything on the friendship scale.
That's a little bit of background on my friend experiences. One thing I have learned through my friendships is this: you have to be willing to invest. That is a given, I hope, but you really have to make a conscious effort. For me, I literally have to think to myself, "I want to be that person's friend, therefore I have to talk with them and hang out with them and potentially feel awkward for a period of time. But I'm willing to do that." For some people, it seems like they just have to blink and everyone in the room is instantly their friend. But sometimes it's hard. Another thing I've learned is that the other person has to be willing to invest. I've had friends who I never fully felt comfortable with, and they weren't willing to compromise for me like I had been for them. If a person is not willing to give the amount of effort that you're giving, then you probably shouldn't be friends with that person. I'll have to warn you though, it will hurt. A lot. A lot a lot. If you're like me, you'll end up crying about this for months and you'll spend entire summers alone wondering why they don't like you and what you could have done differently and what's wrong with you, but trust me, I would much rather go through those feelings than feeling awkward and left out while I'm hanging out with people who should make me feel the opposite.
At the same time though, friendships can't always be skipping through fields of flowers. Like any relationship, they're tough and take a lot of work. You have to keep in contact. My old friends and I used to swear that we would grow old together and be crazy old ladies and be in each other's weddings and be friends forever, but then I didn't keep in contact and they didn't keep in contact, and eventually everything faded away. That is one of the saddest things. I still hurt because I think, "Did they really care about me?" (Of course, that's also me constantly over-analyzing everything.) But sometimes I wonder if they think that of me. I see their updates on facebook, and they are just ghosts of the people I remember, pixels of memories I had from years ago, memories that are a little blurry like a dream. And all I have to hold on to those memories are photos or status updates, but they don't seem real. So I'm begging you, if you have friends that you've lost contact with, please message them, send them an email, text, call, anything. I would give almost anything to be able to create new memories with people who are now confined to my computer screen and the one sided conversation known as the facebook newsfeed. Who knows what could happen? Maybe you guys will end up having wheel chair races at the nursing homes after all!
Now in my life, I'm finally surrounded by a beautiful group of girls, and I'm so excited because I get to live in an apartment with them this fall! College was such a blessing for me. Going into it, I was scared I wouldn't make any friends, because I was still unsure how to create deep relationships quickly and I knew people would try to create their circles within the first few weeks of attending. Living in close quarters with someone helps tremendously (or awfully, depending upon how compatible you are with the other person), because it forces you to get to know each other quickly. If a college environment isn't in your immediate future, I would say being deliberate is the best way to go. Be kind to people. Ask questions. That's one of my tools that I took into college. People love talking about themselves, so if you ask a lot of questions, it gets you out of talking and allows you to learn about the other person. Actually listen to them. In this day and age, too much time is spent thinking of what you're going to say next, ways to not make things awkward, pondering for minutes or hours over texts to decide the best wording. But I try to really stop and listen to what the other person is saying, and if I'm curious about something, I ask. Even if it's a very personal question I ask it anyways, because then a level of trust is established and the friendship can grow from that. And above all else, spend time with someone you can love. I think humans have the capability of loving any human they come in contact with, but there are some people who are more compatible than others. You tend to know soon after a few conversations whether or not a friendship will work. At the same time, let those conversations determine your pursuit, and not things that you've heard or even seen. My friends that I made in college, if I had known them in high school, I would have never been friends with them. Popular, sporty, beautiful, insanely smart and talented people ... I wouldn't have been brave enough to even talk to them because of how different they seem to be. But that's the beautiful thing about humans--despite our differences, we are all pretty similar.
To my old friends, I love you, I miss you, I think about you a lot. I hope one day we can be reunited. To those who decided not to be my friend, I'm trying to forgive you. I hope for nothing but happiness in your life. To my current friends, may our group facebook message never end, and may you all be in my wedding. And may we all have enough money for a friendship reunion every year, because you bring more joy into my life than you will ever know.
I highly highly encourage you to watch this lecture. Even though it's nineteen minutes long, the time really flies because it is incredibly interesting (I've already watched it twice--yes, it's that good). Since my blog is titled Introvert's Introduction and since I myself am an introvert, I thought you all would really enjoy this video. (If you are planning on watching it, you should do so before you continue reading.)
Susan Cain speaks on how introverts are forced to live in a generally extroverted world. Kids have to work in groups at school, many jobs are in stimulating environments, and everyone seems to have the mindset that the more outgoing you are, the better your life will be. That's a pretty tough place to be in if you're an introvert. Cain also talks about how there are many different places a person could be on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. For me, I oftentimes enjoy being surrounded by people (I'm specifically thinking of high school dances and whatnot), but usually I would rather go to coffee with friends or to dinner or to someone's house. Being around many people wears me out after awhile and I feel perfectly happy coming home after a long day to sit in my room reading a book or editing photos.
Growing up, I always hated working in groups, unless of course I didn't understand the particular task, then I was happy to come together with someone who knew more than me. Cain talks about how even though our society should turn around and gear things more towards introverts (solitude working as opposed to group working), it is still necessary to brainstorm with other people. But--and she made an interesting point relating this to religious figures--great revelations come from being in solitude. That being said, without people to communicate those revelations to, there would have been no growth in the religious institutions (and you can make this if/then scenario with any institution).
I find that idea of solitude to revelation (creativity, problem-solving, etc.) to be very true in my own life. Recently I bought a dress pattern and have spent the past few days alone in the basement, sewing away and piecing together fabric. And I have had so much fun doing that, it's probably on my list of top five fun things I've done all summer. I just really enjoy the challenge of putting together a puzzle and spending time with my thoughts and creating something all by myself. I just love love doing that. On my mirror in my room I have written in the corner, "Every once in a while, blow your own mind," and I have been trying to live by that saying. My way of blowing my mind might be different than someone else's way. For me, it's creating a dress from scratch or taking a beautiful photo or writing a novel. But also, it could very easily include becoming more engaging in group activities or going out of my way to make friends (which I will have to do in college). It goes both ways. In the video, Cain says that she's not trying to make extroverts sound bad, because the world needs both, it's just that we need to have a balance. Introverts should try to collaborate more and extroverts should go off and think and be alone to build thought.
At the very end of her lecture, she gives three awesome points:
1. Stop the madness for constant group work.
This one made me laugh so hard. I never understood why teachers in school constantly wanted group activities. Even in subjects that I liked such English, I hated working in a group. It wasn't because of the people, but simply because I would much rather come up with my own ideas instead of having to listen to other people talk on and on or having to compromise what I thought was a correct answer for the sake of the group. But at the same time, I loved how in English class, we also had class discussions, where we would just play off of everyone's ideas and new thoughts would arise. It was a very kinetic way of learning, to be alone with your thoughts for a moment, share them with the class, and generate new thoughts as other people shared their own.
2. Go to the wilderness.
I know even when I am just outside taking photos in the yard, I feel so happy and alive. There's just something about nature and being immersed in it that is really calming. Also, whenever my family goes camping, we have to leave the laptops, the tv, sometimes the cell phone behind. It's nice to get away from all the stress because let's be honest, technology can be stressful. I know I never knew how hard it was to run a blog until I actually started doing it. One just feels renewed when they go into the wilderness. I know when I come back from camp, I want to limit my time indoors even more so that I can be surrounded by creation. There's so much noise in the world, but the trees make beautiful music.
3. Open up your suitcase.
Susan Cain told a beautiful story in the beginning of her lecture of how she brought a suitcase of books with her to summer camp but then never took them out because the more extroverted people deemed it inappropriate to go off alone and read.
For me, this last point is exactly my mission for Introvert's Introduction. This place is a chance for not only me to show what's in my suitcase, but for others to share what's in theirs. People are just so so unbelievably amazing and I don't know how I can stress that enough. Every story, every experience, every little detail that you have is incredibly important and amazing (yes, even those bad stories and experiences and details) and no story should go untold. So I hope you have the courage to show people a little bit of what's in your suitcase. Introvert's Introduction is my little suitcase. I am very open here and quite honestly, I love being able to have the opportunity to share my life with you, because my life is amazing ... and your life is amazing. Life is just so amazing! and lives are meant to be shared.
I know this post is a bit different, but I hope to have more like it in the future. And I do want this to become more of a community and not always just me talking about myself (though that will fill up a lot of the space as it is my sort of diary), so I've been brainstorming a bit (going into the wilderness) on how to do that. I'm still not sure yet, and with college on the horizon it may be a while yet. But that's okay. In the meantime, I'll leave you with this question: what's in your suitcase? What's one story that has made you who you are today?
