Tuesday, May 14, 2013

three years ago today

May 21, 2010, my sister and I looking out the window in our cabin onto the ocean during the four day ferry ride.

Three years ago today, my family moved thousands of miles from everything we knew to embark on a new adventure. My father retired from the military and got a new job, and after living in the beautiful state of Oklahoma for five years, we packed our belongings and the six of us jumped in our trusty brown van to drive from Moore, Oklahoma all the way to Alaska. After spending two years in the last frontier previously, my parents were excited to finally go back to cool weather, fishing, friends, and snow. But my life was in Oklahoma, my friends, my church, my school (our class was like one big family). I've been through some tough things physically and experiencially, but moving this time around was by far the hardest thing for me. To go from having friends and a life that you are happy with to a place where no one talks to you and you spend months not hanging out with anyone and being completely alone, it puts a strain on your heart. I still feel the effects from it ... a memory, a song, certain people on facebook, old diary entries, old photographs, even packing to leave college brought me to many tears because I know what putting things in a box really means ... it means leaving all the things and people you love, and it strips you of the person you become until you don't even know who you are anymore.

As I look back on who I was before I moved, who I was for the next two years, and who I am now, I am thankful for how far I've come. Though I would never want to experience it again, I'm glad I moved to Alaska. I fully believe that all things happen for a reason, and even in the darkest times in my life, I see how God was working and helping me through it. If I had never moved to Alaska, I would have never met Matt. I would have never started blogging. I would have never been able to explore the most beautiful place on earth. I would have never ended up at the college that I'm at now. And there's probably many other things I wouldn't have been able to do and become that I won't ever know about. Would I do it again? No. But would I wish it never happened? Never. I am so thankful it occurred, because from it my life is now filled with so much love I can hardly contain it.

Three years ago today, my life was dragged out from under me, and now I never take for granted my home, or my family, or the friends that love me for who I am. I remember everything that happened three years ago today. And it still makes me cry. Sometimes I still miss my friends in Oklahoma. I miss that we never talk anymore. I miss that they moved on and found new friends. Sometimes I hate that things have to change, but it's inevitable, and we just have to accept it and make the most of it. Life goes on and we have to cherish everything we have right now.

"May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand."

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