Wednesday, January 30, 2013

a universe in my head

dress: mom's closet // skirt: borrowed // long socks: forever 21 // shoes: target

There are a lot of changes in the air. I can feel it every day when I wake up and go out into the chilling Oregon air and when I come back to my dorm to relax. It peeks its head into conversations over lunch and behind moss-covered trees when I'm walking on the gravel trails. Perhaps this is simply me "growing up," even though I hesitate to use those words because I don't ever really want to grow up. I guess I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I have a certain responsibility in life and I should actually take this life seriously--not in the sense that I become a serious person--but in the sense that I only have one chance to do things, and the sooner I realize that sometimes I have to buckle down and get things done, the sooner I can live the life I've always imagined.

The change is in the little things thus far. I'm keeping my room clean, I'm in tune with my school work, I'm planning things and taking care of things and just actively living and thriving instead of just surviving. I'm actually wanting to do homework and I'm excited to learn (especially in my photography class). I guess you could say I feel very adult right now (though I know even just a year from now I'll think current me was so young and immature!). At any rate, that shift into becoming a responsible adult has not gone unnoticed, though I do hope I won't lose particular childlike tendencies. There's that certain magic of childhood that I had spent years cultivating and now I'm at a point where I refuse to let go of those memories and shapings, and perhaps even create some more childish fantasies even as I enter into an adult life.

When I was little, I drew out maps of Fairyland and danced around in my backyard pretending that I was transported into that world. My very best fairy friend was a girl named Jopey and she and I fought alongside each other in the great Fairy battle. Those imaginings were fueled by stories like the Anne of Green Gables series, At the back of the North Wind, Harriet the Spy, and the Eragon Series, (books that I still read to this very today). I even wrote stories about my adventures and charted locations and made a special bracelet that allowed me to transport into that world. It was a huge part of my childhood, where everything was not as it seemed and adventure was around every corner.

Of course now I know that those things weren't reality, but that doesn't mean they weren't real. The stories from my childhood I'm turning into novels today, those little colored pencil maps have become a giant piece of artwork (one I'm still working on), and I'm still chasing the same light I did years ago.

I guess I just never want to look at anything like it's ordinary.

Well this post has taken a super personal turn (I'm sure no one's surprised by that at this point). Those things that I dreamed up have really shaped me into who I am today, and it's so interesting to look back and see what things have formed certain things in my life. Is there anything from your childhood that shaped you in some way? I would love to hear about it!

I hope you all have a really fantastic day.

Oh! And I forgot to mention some exciting news, actually. I'm now blogging for my university's new online website, where once a week I post about anything related to fashion and personal style. You can check out my first little introductory article here, and be sure to check back there every Wednesday to read a new article from yours truly!

1 comment:

  1. Your outfit is adorable! I love that skirt!
    Your childhood sounds a lot like mine...most of my time was spent either in the playroom or outside creating my own personal fairyland and having adventures. My two best imaginary friends were Sappy and Auntie Perdin (haha, noooo idea where those names came from!), and we had many adventures in our magic treehouse. (;
    I'm glad to read you're still chasing that's so easy just to "grow up" and leave all those things behind, but keeping them in your life is a wonderful thing indeed.(:

    Decked Out in Ruffles