Monday, November 25, 2013

jigsaw falling into place

dress/shirt: borrowed // tights: forever 21 // shoes: target

Sometimes it seems like I can never get ahead in life. Shoots don't work out, I don't get any new clients for months, the rare one I do get backs out, galleries say no, on and on the list goes. One begins to wonder, "Am I good enough? What am I doing wrong? What do I have to do better? Will I ever do anything right?"

I finally broke down a couple nights ago, feeling pretty low and stressed out. Sometimes life is just hard, you know? Things don't always go the way we plan, situations change, people disappoint you. These kinds of things aren't always fun to write about, but the bad things are just as necessary to life as the good things. Sometimes it's okay to cry. And honestly, it's really freeing once you do. It reminds me of my favorite short story, "Eleven" by Sandra Cisneros. It's a story about a girl on her eleventh birthday and is really contemplative and a different look at our age and how people grow up. When you're eleven, you're also ten, and nine, and eight, and so on and so forth. So sometimes five year old you has to come out and cry a little bit. And that's okay. It's good to let go and just cry. But then it's also good to afterwards try to improve. Everything, even the bad things in life, fall into place and provide you with ways of growing as a human being.

For me, I'm trying hard to see that failure is a good thing, and is an opportunity to hone in craft and become a better person all around.

As for my outfit, I wore this several days ago, back when it was bearable to wear short sleeves for an extended period of time. (Now though? Not so much.) I wanted to focus on color and pattern, rather than shape, as it's hard for me to wear loose fitting pieces such as this shirt. It was the perfect lazy day outfit that didn't look too lazy, so I was happy. You know those days. Where you just want to walk around in a blanket? Just wear oversized shirts and you're good to go.

Have a great day!

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