Sunday, June 3, 2012

so try to be somebody

day 154

Despite the amount of photos I took today, I seem to have hit the first rut in my 365 (154 days in is pretty good, I'd say). It happens for every photographer. They think they've run out of ideas, run out of stamina, inspiration, sheer willpower to even push down on the shutter button. I know I have a lot of ideas (heck, I have a book filled with them), but something in me just doesn't want to give forth much effort right now. It's probably because I'm tired of my face in this project and because I have no models (I begged my sister to pose for today's photo but she refused--I even offered to pay her!). But don't worry, I'll come out of the rut; it always happens.

In other news, my brothers and dad left on a camping trip, so today was girls day! My mom, sister, and I went to the bead store to buy stuff to make bracelets, went to Barnes and Noble and got some books, and finally headed home to watch the Secret World of Arrietty (such a good movie!). I also got to hang out at coffee with my friends. Today was a very lovely day, which was much needed. I hope you had an awesome day as well!

Friday, June 1, 2012

don't worry, she doesn't know what she's doing either

day 153

Every day I think about deleting my flickr account. I always hate to come across as self-righteous or prideful or whatever, but we humans thrive on positive feedback. It's true. Currently I'm feeling pretty discouraged because hardly anyone comments on my flickr any more. Yeah, I know the comments aren't really important in the whole big grand scheme of things. Heck, I could care less. But the fact of the matter is, I do kind of care. Photography is meant to be shared and websites like flickr are great because not only is it a way to share what you love to do with other people who love the same thing, but you can grow and improve from what others say and from what you see. It's a beautiful community. But, I don't know, I'm just not getting that. I don't feel like a part of the community any longer.

I'm not sure what else to say. You know how you can go through entire conversations in your head but when it comes time to say them you forget everything? Yeah, that's me right now ...

I'll never ever stop taking photos, but maybe my time on flickr is coming to a close. It kills me to even think of that though. (I'm probably too much of a chicken to actually delete it anyways. Ya know, nostalgia and such.)

Okay, well now I think I'm beginning to ramble. Other than feeling sorry for myself, today has been good. I got to babysit my kids again and it was so much fun. At one point when the little girl was sitting in my lap, she looked up at me and said, "I love you, Miss Lauren." AAAAWWWWW!! My heart melted. Little children are the most adorable things ever. (And it kind of made me want to have kids ... hah! Good golly I'm getting ahead of myself.)

Also, here is a kind of sort of before edit. It was down to this one and the other image, but the other one won out in the end:

Summer Goals

Happy June 1st everyone! With the dress challenge finally over and all the graduation festivities brought to a close, it is just now feeling like summer. In honor of the beautiful weather and lack of responsibilities (for the most part), I'd like to share my list of summer goals. I compiled it while I was supposed to be cleaning my room and it definitely made me in a better mood than I usually am when I'm sitting around the house being bored.

Here is my small list of goals, in no particular order:

1; Read three books.
2; Paint three paintings.
3; Shoot three rolls of film.
4; Draw one sketch a week.
5; Write one page in my novel a week.
6; Write three poems.
7; Do six diy projects (once every two weeks).
8; Visit Beluga Point.
9; Go to the beach.

Again, it's a small list because if I don't fulfill everything on it I won't forgive myself for a while. That's just how I am. I'm hoping to exceed this list's expectations and make this an awesome summer filled with a lot of adventure.

Do you have any summer goals? I'd love to hear about it!

(I carry it in my heart)

day 152

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet ) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

-- e.e. cummings

Dearest Matt,
I love you so much. You constantly inspire me to be a better person and to live my life to the fullest. I'm so glad I had the honor to meet you and I wouldn't trade our adventure for anything. I love you and I love us. Thank you for everything you do for me. I truly am blessed to know someone as great as you and I hope many people will be able to see how awesome you are. You're an awesome friend. I love you so so much.
Love, your girl.