changing tides

Wait, is this really an outfit post? Sorry, don't get too used to it. I felt very out of my element taking non-creative photos of myself in a somewhat busy part of campus (and all the smiling photos ended up being out of focus, haha). But I had a sudden burst of wanting to document my outfit, mostly out of the fact that my style has changed a bit from quitting personal style blogging and I want at least one representation of that change.

I wear these shoes/pants/jacket almost constantly, and really should invest in pieces similar to them. The necklace is a gift from Matt's mom for my twenty-first birthday, which I love. I've been pretty drawn to the minimalist, Portland-hipster fashion that everyone's doing, but I think it looks really clean and professional and adult-like, which is something I'm trying to do (except for my pink-ish hair, haha) with my appearance. In a perfect world, I think I would have a completely monochromatic wardrobe, which might sound crazy to 2012-2013 Lauren, but it's true. And honestly, I think it allows for a lot of creativity. Maybe not in constructing my outfits, but definitely in wearing pieces that are art in and of themselves. I should say though that I'm kind of speaking from a what-if standpoint, since I don't actually have that many pieces that are unique and can stand on their own. But at this point in my life it's not really a priority to actually change my wardrobe--I've only consolidated and put some things in storage and sometimes borrow appropriate clothes from my roommates. Give it a few years though and I will have the most glorious black and white wardrobe ever. ;)

But anyways, if you really want to keep up with my life, it's best to follow me on instagram for mostly personal things, and my facebook page for mostly professional things, though I do have a couple other social media platforms (like twitter, august, ello, etc. Yeah, I'm crazy).

Hope you have a very wonderful day!

21;

Today is my twenty first birthday and I don't have much to say. Twenty was the first year not being a teenager, and even though twenty one is supposed to be a huge marker, I don't think the change has been as significant as twenty was.

I'm not sure where I'm going, not sure of anything, and a bit unsure if I'll ever know. For now I'm just trekking by, thinking a lot, making art, thinking of what I might want to spend my life doing, what would make me feel most fulfilled. Usually I have these accompanying paragraphs written out days or weeks in advance, but I didn't really know what to say to reflect on this day. I do know that my twentieth year was a very wonderful one, and I'm worried that twenty one will be filled with the adult things that I've been dreading.

I just don't want to make the wrong decisions and mess up my life. At the same time though, I should stop taking things so seriously.

Regardless, today I am happy.

Turning twenty // Turing nineteen // Turning eighteen // Turning seventeen

my favorite photos from 2014

I recently shared some of my favorite images that I made from 2014 over on my photo blog. I'd love for you to check it out here, since I don't really post my work on here any more. Thank you guys so much for all your support! You're the best.

goodbye 2014, hello 2015

New Years is my favorite holiday and this year it snuck up on me. It caught me at a strange transition in between barely grasping for the things I want and letting go (or being let go of) those things I thought I did. It's found me stretched pretty thin and tired and ever hopeful that things will get better. It's found me listening to those same songs I did in summer of 2010. It's found me feeling incredibly grateful for such an amazing year behind me, a year that tested my limits and grew me in ways I didn't think were possible and in ways I didn't think I needed. It's found me shaking for excitement and for fear of the future, and mounting my feet hard with the ground because the world spins madly on, no matter how badly I want it to stop. I'm just trying to enjoy the ride.

I don't to this every year, but sometimes I have strange feelings about things and they always come true. 2015 has that feeling about it, it's whispering to me that really ridiculous and crazy and scary and amazing things are going to happen.

Therefore I promise in 2015:

1. I will say "eff it" and go on adventures with people I know and with people I don't.
2. I will live for the moment and not worry about replies or what I think people think of me.
3. I will not allow anything I feel to stop me from living life normally.
4. I will make art.
5. I will remember that my life is my own and not anyone else's, and therefore I will not compare my life to anyone.
6. I will find the beauty in everything, even the destitute reaches of my own mind.
7. I will project beauty into the world through the things I do and create.
8. I will not take myself so seriously, and have a little bit of fun.
9. I will explore creation as much as I can, and then some.
10. I will love with my whole heart.

I will also be mindful of my time, be kind and generous to others, and be thankful. I think 2015 will be one of the scariest years. It's the year I become a senior in college and *actually* kind of figure out the rest of my life. It's kind of the year I become an adult. It will be the year I buy my first apartment (with my housemates helping me, of course), the year I travel outside of the country alone, the year I go into junior portfolio review to become a senior in the art department (aka the review that all juniors freak out about). There are a lot of transitions/decisions that will occur.

2014 was fantastic though. Some highlights:

Turned 20 and had a beautiful birthday on the beach.
Created The Student Collective (our yearbook) with some insanely creative people.
Played with (and then purchased) real lighting equipment for the first time.
Started making the conscious decision to change my personal style.
Finished sophomore year of college with the Triple "S" Award (photography award).
Published my origami photo series.
Went camping at some really gorgeous places.
Did my first boudoir photo shoot and loved it.
Fell in love with Aces hockey!
Flew back to Oregon to photograph the most perfect wedding and felt wonderful and independent.
Flew back to Alaska and photographed the Emma Hill band for their newest album.
Modeled a little bit for my boss.
Photographed a comedian.
Did a huge collaboration with a model and makeup artist and discovered the second most beautiful place in the entire world.
Then the very next day went on a photo workshop with my boss and discovered the first most beautiful place.
Hung up my first coffee shop show.
Photographed more super talented musicians.
Flew back to Oregon and jumped in the Willamette river.
Became the Creative Director of The Student Collective.
Became the blogger for the Art & Design Department blog.
Took the plunge and bleached my hair and grew out my bangs.
Went camping with my housemates.
Did my first night photo shoot at the craziest Art Retreat ever.
Went to Seattle for the first time.
Won a tablet from instagram.
Fell pretty hopelessly in love with drawing, thanks to my Drawing II professor.
Went to a Relient K concert with my housemates.
Learned more about art than ever before, and started exploring other mediums from photography.
Put up my first installation piece.
Attempted photorealistic drawing. (And succeeded!)
Got off the waitlist for New Zealand (not really my doing, but still exciting).
Continued to fall deeper in love with my friends, with Matt, and with the life I am blessed to live.

One reason why I love New Year's is because it is so fleeting. Everyone prepares for a moment, a brief point in time between 11:59pm and 12:00am that only lasts for a breath. I don't have the words to explain why I love that, but it's one of the most beautiful things. I think I would like to live my entire life in that breath.

2015, let's do this.

(2013 in review // 2013 resolutions)