my magic garden

day 11

Not much to say about today. Except my homecoming dress finally came in the mail! It's greener than I expected, but I can't really do anything about it. I guess that's one of the downsides of ordering online, that and it seems like every dress I purchase is always too big. If I have any extra money (after I buy stuff to make it poofier and possibly add more jewels to it) maybe I can go to an alterations place to get it tucked in, in the back. We shall see.

carry on my wayward son

I feel so bad about not posting outfits as much, especially since I had been doing it so often. I mean, we wear clothes every day! But my hate (and lack of expertise) of taking indoor photos has left me putting outfits on a list to photograph later. But with each day the sun is staying out longer, and soon I'll be able to take photos outside even long into the night. Until then, here is an outfit photo from last summer. It's perfect for Alaskan weather. And perhaps since I can't quite do outfit posts I'll whip up a diy post or two. (I certainly have a bunch from Christmas and the break.) Until then, have an awesome week!

harsh

day 9

A simple photo for today. I started tutoring, which causes me to be home way too late to take photos outside, and as I have no indoor self-portrait concepts, you get a simple photo. Another windstorm has hit and while I was tutoring the power at school went out. It was fun to teach math by the light of the cell phone though. The girl I tutor is one of my favorite seventh graders ever. I love her to death! Who would have thought that I would be a math tutor? Not me. Not in a million years. But this first day was fun. I'm not very good at explaining things in different ways though, so this is a fun challenge to overcome. I think I have a new-found appreciation for math teachers, even after just tutoring for one day--their job is hard! But it's very fulfilling.

the moon sees me cry

Sometimes I get in these moods where I just cry and cry and I don't know why. Occasionally I can pinpoint the reason, but more than often I can't and I just feel awful.

So I write. I write what I'm thinking.



But I feel like everything I think about is always the same. How I hate schoolwork, how I'm ready to go to college, how I'm scared out of my mind to go to college, how I just want to skip all the years of having to study things I'm not going to use in my life and get on with my life. There's so much potential and school seems to drain it out of me. I try to spend more time doing the things I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, but the "important" things keep getting in the way. I already know exactly what I want to do in life. God didn't give me desires to make me do something I hate.




Gosh, I feel like I've written all this countless times before, so much so that it tastes gross to my fingers and I want to spit it out. I feel like I'm repeating myself; I feel like my fingers are rusted; I feel like all these words are pointless.

Actually, I feel like these words hold so much importance that I'm still afraid to let them out because I won't do them justice. I suppose I'll let them bloom for a little while yet.



The moon saw me cry. But I'm not crying anymore. She's holding my tears for me.