goodbye 2014, hello 2015

New Years is my favorite holiday and this year it snuck up on me. It caught me at a strange transition in between barely grasping for the things I want and letting go (or being let go of) those things I thought I did. It's found me stretched pretty thin and tired and ever hopeful that things will get better. It's found me listening to those same songs I did in summer of 2010. It's found me feeling incredibly grateful for such an amazing year behind me, a year that tested my limits and grew me in ways I didn't think were possible and in ways I didn't think I needed. It's found me shaking for excitement and for fear of the future, and mounting my feet hard with the ground because the world spins madly on, no matter how badly I want it to stop. I'm just trying to enjoy the ride.

I don't to this every year, but sometimes I have strange feelings about things and they always come true. 2015 has that feeling about it, it's whispering to me that really ridiculous and crazy and scary and amazing things are going to happen.

Therefore I promise in 2015:

1. I will say "eff it" and go on adventures with people I know and with people I don't.
2. I will live for the moment and not worry about replies or what I think people think of me.
3. I will not allow anything I feel to stop me from living life normally.
4. I will make art.
5. I will remember that my life is my own and not anyone else's, and therefore I will not compare my life to anyone.
6. I will find the beauty in everything, even the destitute reaches of my own mind.
7. I will project beauty into the world through the things I do and create.
8. I will not take myself so seriously, and have a little bit of fun.
9. I will explore creation as much as I can, and then some.
10. I will love with my whole heart.

I will also be mindful of my time, be kind and generous to others, and be thankful. I think 2015 will be one of the scariest years. It's the year I become a senior in college and *actually* kind of figure out the rest of my life. It's kind of the year I become an adult. It will be the year I buy my first apartment (with my housemates helping me, of course), the year I travel outside of the country alone, the year I go into junior portfolio review to become a senior in the art department (aka the review that all juniors freak out about). There are a lot of transitions/decisions that will occur.

2014 was fantastic though. Some highlights:

Turned 20 and had a beautiful birthday on the beach.
Created The Student Collective (our yearbook) with some insanely creative people.
Played with (and then purchased) real lighting equipment for the first time.
Started making the conscious decision to change my personal style.
Finished sophomore year of college with the Triple "S" Award (photography award).
Published my origami photo series.
Went camping at some really gorgeous places.
Did my first boudoir photo shoot and loved it.
Fell in love with Aces hockey!
Flew back to Oregon to photograph the most perfect wedding and felt wonderful and independent.
Flew back to Alaska and photographed the Emma Hill band for their newest album.
Modeled a little bit for my boss.
Photographed a comedian.
Did a huge collaboration with a model and makeup artist and discovered the second most beautiful place in the entire world.
Then the very next day went on a photo workshop with my boss and discovered the first most beautiful place.
Hung up my first coffee shop show.
Photographed more super talented musicians.
Flew back to Oregon and jumped in the Willamette river.
Became the Creative Director of The Student Collective.
Became the blogger for the Art & Design Department blog.
Took the plunge and bleached my hair and grew out my bangs.
Went camping with my housemates.
Did my first night photo shoot at the craziest Art Retreat ever.
Went to Seattle for the first time.
Won a tablet from instagram.
Fell pretty hopelessly in love with drawing, thanks to my Drawing II professor.
Went to a Relient K concert with my housemates.
Learned more about art than ever before, and started exploring other mediums from photography.
Put up my first installation piece.
Attempted photorealistic drawing. (And succeeded!)
Got off the waitlist for New Zealand (not really my doing, but still exciting).
Continued to fall deeper in love with my friends, with Matt, and with the life I am blessed to live.

One reason why I love New Year's is because it is so fleeting. Everyone prepares for a moment, a brief point in time between 11:59pm and 12:00am that only lasts for a breath. I don't have the words to explain why I love that, but it's one of the most beautiful things. I think I would like to live my entire life in that breath.

2015, let's do this.

(2013 in review // 2013 resolutions)

an update

A small update. I don't have much to say right now. I have so many blog drafts, and so many drafts that start with me saying that I have so many drafts, so if I actually publish this one it might be a miracle. All in all, it's been a good school year. The semester has flown by faster than I could imagine, and it's been a challenge keeping on top of everything--school, work, friendships, and my own personal well-being. I've been focusing so much on making art and it's been so wonderful to explore different ideas and mediums. My first installation show is in December. I've been painting with oil. The wood shop may quickly become my second home, and drawing is my escape. I'm also writing more too, and I'm actually working on a book of sorts.

This weekend my best friends and I are celebrating twenty first birthdays with middle school indulgences, and I'm trying to enjoy my youth and breathe a little bit.

I also bleached my hair, in case you didn't notice from the picture.

And I'm also happy to announce that my website has finally been updated, focusing on images shot over this summer. It would mean the world if you took a look here!

:)

camping // crooked creek

August 9, 2014



































It seemed appropriate that we had one camping trip at the beginning of summer, and our second at the end of summer (my dad broke part of his arm, which left us unable to camp for all the time in between). This place was where the freshwater Crooked Creek met with saltwater Kenai River, which allowed for the water to be two different shades of blue. My brother swam in two rivers at once, baby salmon nibbled at our toes, we played too many board games in the tent, fell asleep and woke up to rain, but got to play in the sun during the day. I love being able to just explore and play and not have to worry about the outside world, with its emails and social media and responsibilities, and instead just really live in the moment, live off what we have, live in the land.

It was a beautiful end to summer.

beluga point + library // guitar shoot

August 6 & 7, 2014















Most of these photos were taken at Beluga Point, and most of them were taken before my shoot with Cody. I try to scout out a location before the shoot, to not only figure out where I want to execute my ideas, but also get some new ones. Beluga Point is one of those places that, even though it's a fairly small part of the Seward Highway, one can explore for hours and hours. I love it so much and I don't find myself there too often. So needless to say, Cody and I got a lot of really awesome images. His family and my family basically grew up together, both of us being military and moving to the same location multiple times, so it was really great to catch up with him now that we are both "adults".

Then the very next night we shot at the local library, the same place where I photographed Miss Alaska United States and Miss Teen Alaska United States, way back in 2012. (Yikes, some of those photos were not my best.) It's fun to see my photographic style evolve even from what it was two years ago. The room we went into was as awesome as I remembered it, and I better say a special thanks to library security for unlocking the room and letting us go into it after hours.