Goodbye Fall 2015.

And even more quickly than it started, I've come to the end of my last fall semester as an undergraduate. I'm ending the semester a little worn down. It was a lot tougher to transition back into school this time around than in years previous, and I don't think I ever quite got into the swing of things. But like most things in life, even the weariness of this semester has been a blessing because I learned some new things about myself that can help me turn into a better human.

But it also has been a really, really edifying semester. I may be more lost than I was before, but that's only because so many new paths have opened for me. My whole outlook on life has been changed (I'm hopelessly in love with Agrarian philosophies and hope to continue an independent study) and I'm pretty prepared (I hope) to go into spring semester working on my senior exhibition.

In other random (obvious) news, I redyed my hair. The purple turned into a really pretty color but my roots were getting unruly, so we dyed the top dark brown which, in washing it out, turned the blue a nice gray color. Just out there enough to hopefully hold me over during the break, and then I think it will be back to a normal color for the spring semester. Matt and I are flying home today, and then I'll be back in Oregon to shoot one last wedding to end the year, and then another one to begin 2016. In the meantime, stay turned for an end of the year post. Thank you all for your continued support as I pour out my soul.

now booking 2016 weddings

Hey guys! If you're not following me on other social media, I just wanted to extend to you the fact that I'm now booking weddings for 2016! This year was so fun getting into the door of documenting some really cool people love each other more than anything else in the world, and I would love to be able to continue to do that for you! You can check out my website here for faqs and general pricing, and feel free to ask me any questions you may have.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Weekend Roundup

Some articles and things I've found interesting.

First is just a plug for my latest post on my photoblog here. I got to photograph a For Today concert (which left me really wanting to become a band photographer again) and really loved the experience, especially because I haven't photographed anything this month. 

Photo copyright Alan Powdrill
I really enjoyed this photo series by Alan Powdrill about people with tattoos. The side-by-side comparisons are lovely and I love each person's little statements about their tattoos. I'm pretty sure I'm too scared of needles to ever get any substantial tattoos, but who knows. NSFW

Photo copyright J Henry Fair
As someone who is interested in the environment, this photo series on different methods of mining left me feeling a lot of different emotions. On the one hand, mining is extremely terrible for the environment (to include the humans that live near these areas) and it made me sad to see these images. But on the other hand, they are formally beautiful, which plays on the idea that there's beauty even in the horrible things of the world. It's a strange paradox of beauty versus/with destruction.

Photo copyright U.S. Geological Survey
In the same vein, this photo series that the U.S. Geological Survey is doing includes going to spaces where the effects of global warming is clearly seen. A lot of these places are in my Alaskan backyard, and I've seen it firsthand. For example, my beloved Byron Glacier that I love to sled on during the summers is pretty much nonexistent now. No one can really sled on it anymore or enjoy it, and that's just within the past three years. These images show the more extensive results and it's kind of hard to deny that the earth isn't getting warmer when you see these photos.

Enneagram Personality Test

For one of my classes I had to take this personality test, and it's one of the most accurate descriptions of myself I've ever found. I'm a Type 4, and I could have been written everything myself (except for maybe the part about parental figures). If you explore the website for a bit, there's also articles on how the different types interact with each other and common issues that arise, which is super interesting and helpful. You guys know me, I love personality tests. This one is one of the best.

Photo copyright Rebekah Campbell
I've been following Rebekah Campbell's work for several years, and she recently published a series + interview titled, "they woke up like this: 10 creative women in bed". It's a really fun article about some inspiring women's morning routines, which makes me want to make my own morning routine a little less haphazard (oh but how I love my sleep). Just a tender, witty look into the holy space of a person's bed. NSFW


Hope you guys have a lovely week!

let it breathe

You can usually see me in some variation of this outfit. These days I'm going for comfort, especially because it's gotten harder over my college career to wake up in time to make an informed decision about my outfit before groggily stumbling into class. So it's usually black pants, some shirt (when I wore this I figured lace would offset the army green jacket nicely--wow a coherent thought by Lauren before 9am!), and this jacket. A long time ago I heard or read someone say that the shoes make or break an outfit, or shoes pull the outfit together, so I try to wear fancy shoes to elevate the outfit. Plus, it probably wakes me up while I try to walk in heels for my ten minute walk to class. And also I am usually wearing last night's hair, as seen here. Yes, I am the height of fashion.

I guess I'm also in some variation of this outfit because it's not quite cold enough for tights yet but cold in the mornings but hot in the afternoon so I never know how to dress. Oregon is doing this weird thing where it's really cold one day and then really hot the next, and we haven't gotten much rain yet so I'm just perpetually confused. Okay sorry I always talk about the weather, I grew up doing that, haha.

Yesterday Matt and I went to see Elliot Moss in concert and it was magical. We got to see him in February for our anniversay and told ourselves if he ever came back to Portland we would have to see him again. And we did. And it was incredible. Seriously one of my favorite artists. As for today, I've been nursing my ringing ears and drawing cartoon cats and putting my face in online old people generators, for art of course.

explore your intersections

I just finished watching this TEDtalk that I'm sure a lot of you have seen already. Please definitely watch it even though it's twelve minutes long, because it's really good. And especially at this stage of my life (the one where I "have" to decide what I want to do forever), it was really comforting to hear.

I do a lot of internal dialogue with myself. A lot. Like so much I don't think normal people do it (or maybe everyone does it?), but I analyze everything and look for the connections between everything, and I would say I know myself pretty well. It's been really interesting this year to see how all the different interests and experiences in my life (and a few in other people's lives) are all connecting to who I am today, seemingly unconnected things like time theory and personality studies and buying a billion disposable cameras when I was a child and philosophy and why I loved to eat leaves when I was little (haha I was a strange kid) and making art with thread and string and a lot of weird things. And even the obvious things about me like photography and writing--everything is starting to come together, why I did certain things or enjoyed certain things for a time.

It's really nice to know that I can be an Art Major (who's doing photography and mixed media), an English Major (who continually fails at writing that novel but now is in love with poetry), and I can also take philosophy classes (that relate to art, agrarianism, religion, and reason); and that I can be a photographer, a writer, a blogger (since apparently I'm back into it, haha), a studio practicioner, a social media exec (my fancy title that I made up for my side job getting paid to go on someone else's facebook), and someone who is interested in a million different hobbies (tea, book making, fashion, psychology, travel, sewing, astronomy).

And it's nice to know that I don't have to have it all figured out. Emilie Wapnick wrote another blog post to follow up on her TEDtalk, about different approaches to careers that multipotenialites can take, which you should read here. I think for me, the Einstein work model is the one that makes the most sense for me right now, maybe doing photography as my "day job" to sustain a studio art practice and writing practice, or maybe getting a generic part time job to do all three. There's a lot of options and I just have to remind myself that there are a lot of right choices, instead of just a single one.

So what am I going to be when I grow up / what am I going to do after I graduate? Lots of really incredible, creative things and live a really beautiful, fulfilled life.

back into the swing of things ...?

Uuuuh hey guys? Is this an outfit post? I don't know what it is, but I've really felt the itch to document my outfits again. I seriously don't know. I know I don't necessarily want this to be a daily occurance, mostly because I know I physically can't do that with my school schedule, but for some reason I really have been wanting to get back into it. Consider this a soft blog revival. I'm just testing the waters now. So go easy on me. I mean, my last proper-ish outfit post was almost a year ago, so I'm really rusty. I think part of the reason I've wanted to get back into it is because my life is about to enter another season of change, and maybe the outfits are my conscious way of my subconsious saying, "Hey Lauren, you'll really want to document this closely, so we're gonna use outfits as an excuse!" (It might also be because I should be writing a paper right now and I've run out of other ways to distract myself. I even wasted time by changing the blog layout, so bear with me while I add things over the next few weeks.)

I honestly don't know what this "coming back" means. I don't know if it even is a coming back. Who knows? I could get bored or lazy or busy with it. Haha I really don't know and it's kind of annoying because I usually know.

Anyways, I guess now I need to do typical "outfit post" things. Also I should mention that I'm starting to become interested in ethical fashion, not because I can change the world by changing my lifestyle (we need people to change policies for that), but just because I feel morally bad about being a part of the problem. I'm trying not to be too harsh on myself though because it's actually impossible for a person like me to live within their means + buy ethical food and clothing + eat vegetarian / be aware of the treatment of animals because that's just unrealistic for the culture that I live in. But it's small steps. Anyways, being all round about because while a lot of my clothes aren't ethically made, I haven't bought any new clothes in a long time and this outfit consists of old pieces (except for the shoes). The dress magically appeared in our apartment and it didn't belong to me or any of my roommates so I claimed it, the jean jacket is from my mom's closet (sorry Mommy, I promise I accidentally packed it and didn't do it on purpose!), the leggings are from forever21 and the boots are from target.

Sorry this post is so sporadic, but I also shaved part of my head (haha this part is mostly for my parents, if they're still alive after seeing the photo of it). I shaved it 1. Because it's super cool and I've always wanted to do it, and 2. To hopefully make my hair less hermoine-esque? A giant ball of poof? A tangled rats nest of terror and nightmares? Well believe it or not, it didn't actually reduce the poof whatsoever? Everything I thought I knew about hair is apparently untrue, or my hair is literally insane and has a life of its own and it does what it wants. And unless my hair is in a bun, you can't see it, and you can only barely see it when it's in a ponytail. Yes, my hair is so poofy that sometimes a ponytail covers it. Anyways, this might be the last crazy thing I do with my hair. We'll see. Like I said, I have no idea.

Okay, so hi. Hey. What's up? I've missed everyone! Except I've still been religiously keeping up with everyone's blogs and I'm just the worst at commenting. Yes, I Lauren was that creepy blog reader that made you wonder why you were getting a billion views on your post. It was me. I can't promise I'll be better at that, but you should follow me on instagram because I'm way better there anyways. Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling because it's actually past my bedtime now. So I'll write soon? Maybe? ;D

new hair

Just a quick little post to show that I have new hair! I've been kind of annoyed with the blonde / the health of my hair in general (aka it gets terribly tangled now), plus isn't it the rule that you're supposed to go darker for the winter months? ;) So I dyed it purple (or rather my roomate did it for me) over the weekend to give it a break from bleaching. Strangely enough, the purple also dyed my once-over-bleached roots this lovely brown color (it takes two rounds for my poor hair to get blonde), which will help make the growout transition better. Obviously super important stuff. I'm hoping it will fade really nicely too so I don't have to redye it as often as the pink. So there you go!

the beginning of the beginning

And here we are, my first week of my senior year of college is done. My heart is so full. I know I say all the time I'm excited about this or that, but honestly I have a feeling that this will be an incredibly fulfilling year and it's already brimming with so many possibilities I can't even imagine what's around the corner.

Things I'm excited about:

• Living with my two beautiful and amazing friends for the fourth year in a row!
• Being close to Matt (we spent the summer about an hour away from each other).
• My Agrarian Philosophy class. Once I found out that there was actually a field of study around humanity's relationship with nature, I jumped on the opportunity to learn more about it.
• My Writing Poetry class. Already I'm learning how to better my own writing, and being challenged to create through the written word every day.
• Having my own studio space. As a senior art major, I get a little corner of the senior art house, which I've already started filling with too many branches. I'm beside myself with happiness to finally have my own studio space. Along with that, I'm excited to continue with the close community of artists that we have.
• Being in Oregon again. This place has a pretty big piece of my heart.
• Learning from professional art practicioners.
• Exploring new art forms further.
• Combining all my passions together.
• Being surrounded by beautiful people and a beautiful land.

Senior year, here we go.

daughter of the fields

I've felt incredibly inspired recently after realizing that I hadn't created any personal pieces this summer. I'm finishing up my last summer wedding in about a week and then I have two more until 2016 (for now!), and I feel really blessed to have worked with some great, great clients! It's been a relaxing summer, with me doing a lot of reading and yoga mostly, just focusing on my physical-internal self and bettering it. But I got really nostalgic for those "old days" when I just picked up the camera and photographed myself for no other reason than because I had to. And I just came to the realization (like two days ago) that during my "personal style blogging" phase, it was just an extension of the creative self portrait photographs. So these photos are kind of a mesh of the two. Another documentation of my change, and my need to be constantly creating for myself. This was just like my first 365 days way back in 2010 (before this blog was in existence), when I didn't even have any ideas for a photo but I had to create something for that day, so I let my imagination run wild.

Click here to view more photos!

this summer

Feeling incredibly inspired at the moment, and suddenly found myself at this old space again. So much has happened since March and I once more feel like a different person from who I was then. This is my last "real" summer before I potentially never have school again, and I'm taking every moment one at a time. Since spending the month of May on the craziest adventure at the other side of the world, I have deepened my outlook on life that everything is intrinsically beautiful and I need to see it all. I'm already planning the next adventure to Oklahoma and Georgia and Alaska and it's exciting to be able to visit my childhood spaces.

I've been super into tea recently and have been trying out a bunch of different blends. I got some from New Zealand and Matt got me some from England and I've been drinking them out of wine glasses while I work. I'm sitting at a desk like a real adult and writing a lot and doing yoga and it's raining a beautiful summer Oregon rain right now. New music is playing and I'm saying yes to all the spontaneous trips I can.

At the beginning of the year, I labeled 2015 the Year of Adventure. I don't label every year, but this one called to me strongly. Now I know why and it makes me very content. There's an aching for me to travel, physically, mentally, creatively, and now upon entering the halfway point in the year, I see every way it has stretched me and I am so thankful for every experience and person I've been blessed to meet and know.

Life is so weird and I'm reminded of that every day. But it's so so beautiful and every person I see on the street is so beautiful. I wish everyone could know how beautiful they are.

march update

Just thought I'd give a little update since it's been about two months since I've last posted. My boyfriend Matt and I recently stumbled back upon lookbook.nu, then consequently creeped on all of my old outfit photos. Yikes. And it just got me thinking about my own evolution as a person and how I was completely different back then, and how happy I am to be the person that I am today.

These photos are from a recent assignment for my photo iii class, which you can read about on my photo website here. The pink hair will probably stay for a while. I am really enjoying it a lot and I feel it really suits me for this time in my life.

In about five weeks, I'll be done with my junior year of college. I'm signed up for all of my senior classes (except for printmaking, which I'm trying to fit into my schedule), to include my Senior Thesis for both my Art degree and my Writing degree (which will culminate with a writing portfolio + an art exhibition!). I'm also really excited for two philosophy classes that I get to take (one about Agrarian philosophy and another about Religion and Reason). I also get to take a Shakespeare class and a poetry writing class. It's all really exciting and at the same time a little sad because it will be my last year and then, 1. I have to become a real adult, and 2. I don't get to learn anything new (I mean, formally. And at this point in my life I don't think graduate school will be feasible). But, life goes on and I finally feel ready to handle it.

In about five weeks, I will also be flying outside of the country to spend a month in New Zealand/Fiji. It has been a dream of mine for the past eight years to go to New Zealand, and I can hardly believe that I'm going to get to go in a mere forty three days. It's going to take a lot of effort to not fill my suitcase with only long, fancy dresses for photo shoots, haha.

I've also been really pushing shooting weddings this summer, if you haven't already noticed by my facebook page. So if you need a wedding photographer, I'm here! And I'm willing to travel! My calender is already filling up with weddings and I am very grateful for all of my wonderful clients.

My roommates and I are also purchasing an off-campus home together and living here in Oregon over the summer. When I was little, I was always scared to death of being the oldest child because I would have to experience all these big milestones first and wouldn't have anyone to look up to, but now that I'm here, it's not bad at all. And when I was little, I was afraid that I wouldn't remember the things I thought of as a kid when I "grew up". Lemonade Lauren would be very pleased with who she became, and I feel so much more connected to her now, than to older Lauren when I was younger (funny how time works that way).

So there's a little haphazard update for you written at two am (don't worry, I'm on spring break so I'm getting lots of sleep!). Life is just really wonderful, and I am trying not to take any breath for granted. I feel incredibly blessed with this quiet life I have, and I am learning to be more comfortable with who I am and at the same time push myself just a little bit beyond that which I think I'm capable. I am content and ever pushing forward.

changing tides

Wait, is this really an outfit post? Sorry, don't get too used to it. I felt very out of my element taking non-creative photos of myself in a somewhat busy part of campus (and all the smiling photos ended up being out of focus, haha). But I had a sudden burst of wanting to document my outfit, mostly out of the fact that my style has changed a bit from quitting personal style blogging and I want at least one representation of that change.

I wear these shoes/pants/jacket almost constantly, and really should invest in pieces similar to them. The necklace is a gift from Matt's mom for my twenty-first birthday, which I love. I've been pretty drawn to the minimalist, Portland-hipster fashion that everyone's doing, but I think it looks really clean and professional and adult-like, which is something I'm trying to do (except for my pink-ish hair, haha) with my appearance. In a perfect world, I think I would have a completely monochromatic wardrobe, which might sound crazy to 2012-2013 Lauren, but it's true. And honestly, I think it allows for a lot of creativity. Maybe not in constructing my outfits, but definitely in wearing pieces that are art in and of themselves. I should say though that I'm kind of speaking from a what-if standpoint, since I don't actually have that many pieces that are unique and can stand on their own. But at this point in my life it's not really a priority to actually change my wardrobe--I've only consolidated and put some things in storage and sometimes borrow appropriate clothes from my roommates. Give it a few years though and I will have the most glorious black and white wardrobe ever. ;)

But anyways, if you really want to keep up with my life, it's best to follow me on instagram for mostly personal things, and my facebook page for mostly professional things, though I do have a couple other social media platforms (like twitter, august, ello, etc. Yeah, I'm crazy).

Hope you have a very wonderful day!

21;

Today is my twenty first birthday and I don't have much to say. Twenty was the first year not being a teenager, and even though twenty one is supposed to be a huge marker, I don't think the change has been as significant as twenty was.

I'm not sure where I'm going, not sure of anything, and a bit unsure if I'll ever know. For now I'm just trekking by, thinking a lot, making art, thinking of what I might want to spend my life doing, what would make me feel most fulfilled. Usually I have these accompanying paragraphs written out days or weeks in advance, but I didn't really know what to say to reflect on this day. I do know that my twentieth year was a very wonderful one, and I'm worried that twenty one will be filled with the adult things that I've been dreading.

I just don't want to make the wrong decisions and mess up my life. At the same time though, I should stop taking things so seriously.

Regardless, today I am happy.

Turning twenty // Turing nineteen // Turning eighteen // Turning seventeen

my favorite photos from 2014

I recently shared some of my favorite images that I made from 2014 over on my photo blog. I'd love for you to check it out here, since I don't really post my work on here any more. Thank you guys so much for all your support! You're the best.