explore your intersections

I just finished watching this TEDtalk that I'm sure a lot of you have seen already. Please definitely watch it even though it's twelve minutes long, because it's really good. And especially at this stage of my life (the one where I "have" to decide what I want to do forever), it was really comforting to hear.

I do a lot of internal dialogue with myself. A lot. Like so much I don't think normal people do it (or maybe everyone does it?), but I analyze everything and look for the connections between everything, and I would say I know myself pretty well. It's been really interesting this year to see how all the different interests and experiences in my life (and a few in other people's lives) are all connecting to who I am today, seemingly unconnected things like time theory and personality studies and buying a billion disposable cameras when I was a child and philosophy and why I loved to eat leaves when I was little (haha I was a strange kid) and making art with thread and string and a lot of weird things. And even the obvious things about me like photography and writing--everything is starting to come together, why I did certain things or enjoyed certain things for a time.

It's really nice to know that I can be an Art Major (who's doing photography and mixed media), an English Major (who continually fails at writing that novel but now is in love with poetry), and I can also take philosophy classes (that relate to art, agrarianism, religion, and reason); and that I can be a photographer, a writer, a blogger (since apparently I'm back into it, haha), a studio practicioner, a social media exec (my fancy title that I made up for my side job getting paid to go on someone else's facebook), and someone who is interested in a million different hobbies (tea, book making, fashion, psychology, travel, sewing, astronomy).

And it's nice to know that I don't have to have it all figured out. Emilie Wapnick wrote another blog post to follow up on her TEDtalk, about different approaches to careers that multipotenialites can take, which you should read here. I think for me, the Einstein work model is the one that makes the most sense for me right now, maybe doing photography as my "day job" to sustain a studio art practice and writing practice, or maybe getting a generic part time job to do all three. There's a lot of options and I just have to remind myself that there are a lot of right choices, instead of just a single one.

So what am I going to be when I grow up / what am I going to do after I graduate? Lots of really incredible, creative things and live a really beautiful, fulfilled life.

back into the swing of things ...?

Uuuuh hey guys? Is this an outfit post? I don't know what it is, but I've really felt the itch to document my outfits again. I seriously don't know. I know I don't necessarily want this to be a daily occurance, mostly because I know I physically can't do that with my school schedule, but for some reason I really have been wanting to get back into it. Consider this a soft blog revival. I'm just testing the waters now. So go easy on me. I mean, my last proper-ish outfit post was almost a year ago, so I'm really rusty. I think part of the reason I've wanted to get back into it is because my life is about to enter another season of change, and maybe the outfits are my conscious way of my subconsious saying, "Hey Lauren, you'll really want to document this closely, so we're gonna use outfits as an excuse!" (It might also be because I should be writing a paper right now and I've run out of other ways to distract myself. I even wasted time by changing the blog layout, so bear with me while I add things over the next few weeks.)

I honestly don't know what this "coming back" means. I don't know if it even is a coming back. Who knows? I could get bored or lazy or busy with it. Haha I really don't know and it's kind of annoying because I usually know.

Anyways, I guess now I need to do typical "outfit post" things. Also I should mention that I'm starting to become interested in ethical fashion, not because I can change the world by changing my lifestyle (we need people to change policies for that), but just because I feel morally bad about being a part of the problem. I'm trying not to be too harsh on myself though because it's actually impossible for a person like me to live within their means + buy ethical food and clothing + eat vegetarian / be aware of the treatment of animals because that's just unrealistic for the culture that I live in. But it's small steps. Anyways, being all round about because while a lot of my clothes aren't ethically made, I haven't bought any new clothes in a long time and this outfit consists of old pieces (except for the shoes). The dress magically appeared in our apartment and it didn't belong to me or any of my roommates so I claimed it, the jean jacket is from my mom's closet (sorry Mommy, I promise I accidentally packed it and didn't do it on purpose!), the leggings are from forever21 and the boots are from target.

Sorry this post is so sporadic, but I also shaved part of my head (haha this part is mostly for my parents, if they're still alive after seeing the photo of it). I shaved it 1. Because it's super cool and I've always wanted to do it, and 2. To hopefully make my hair less hermoine-esque? A giant ball of poof? A tangled rats nest of terror and nightmares? Well believe it or not, it didn't actually reduce the poof whatsoever? Everything I thought I knew about hair is apparently untrue, or my hair is literally insane and has a life of its own and it does what it wants. And unless my hair is in a bun, you can't see it, and you can only barely see it when it's in a ponytail. Yes, my hair is so poofy that sometimes a ponytail covers it. Anyways, this might be the last crazy thing I do with my hair. We'll see. Like I said, I have no idea.

Okay, so hi. Hey. What's up? I've missed everyone! Except I've still been religiously keeping up with everyone's blogs and I'm just the worst at commenting. Yes, I Lauren was that creepy blog reader that made you wonder why you were getting a billion views on your post. It was me. I can't promise I'll be better at that, but you should follow me on instagram because I'm way better there anyways. Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling because it's actually past my bedtime now. So I'll write soon? Maybe? ;D

new hair

Just a quick little post to show that I have new hair! I've been kind of annoyed with the blonde / the health of my hair in general (aka it gets terribly tangled now), plus isn't it the rule that you're supposed to go darker for the winter months? ;) So I dyed it purple (or rather my roomate did it for me) over the weekend to give it a break from bleaching. Strangely enough, the purple also dyed my once-over-bleached roots this lovely brown color (it takes two rounds for my poor hair to get blonde), which will help make the growout transition better. Obviously super important stuff. I'm hoping it will fade really nicely too so I don't have to redye it as often as the pink. So there you go!

the beginning of the beginning

And here we are, my first week of my senior year of college is done. My heart is so full. I know I say all the time I'm excited about this or that, but honestly I have a feeling that this will be an incredibly fulfilling year and it's already brimming with so many possibilities I can't even imagine what's around the corner.

Things I'm excited about:

• Living with my two beautiful and amazing friends for the fourth year in a row!
• Being close to Matt (we spent the summer about an hour away from each other).
• My Agrarian Philosophy class. Once I found out that there was actually a field of study around humanity's relationship with nature, I jumped on the opportunity to learn more about it.
• My Writing Poetry class. Already I'm learning how to better my own writing, and being challenged to create through the written word every day.
• Having my own studio space. As a senior art major, I get a little corner of the senior art house, which I've already started filling with too many branches. I'm beside myself with happiness to finally have my own studio space. Along with that, I'm excited to continue with the close community of artists that we have.
• Being in Oregon again. This place has a pretty big piece of my heart.
• Learning from professional art practicioners.
• Exploring new art forms further.
• Combining all my passions together.
• Being surrounded by beautiful people and a beautiful land.

Senior year, here we go.